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Sometimes, when I’m out, I like to stop and watch families. I love watching Dads run errands with their kids. I like observing the quiet conversations when Moms are trying to follow the grocery list with the constant flow of questions and commentary from their toddler. I chuckle a little when I see parents trying to quell a public meltdown and are facing that feeling of panic and helplessness that we all know too well. I just love watching families.

Today we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family. In these days following Christmas, the Church gives us this important day to contemplate this very profound truth about Christ’s Incarnation. That is, that God could have saved us in any number of ways. He could have saved us with less suffering, less sacrifice, less sadness. He could have saved us sooner or with a snap of his fingers. He could have come as a king, or a president, or a ruthless ruler. He could have erased death instead of changing it. But He didn’t.

He came as a baby. He came as part of a family. 

I think this is why I delight in watching families so much. No family is perfect – in fact, families are messy. Families are full of egos, impatience, stress and sin. But families are beautiful, so beautiful, in fact, that God chose to become part of one.

The first reading today comes from the book of Sirach and points to God’s love for family and the importance of family as part of the life of Faith. 

“God sets a father in honor over his children;

a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons.” Sirach 3:2

It goes on to give instruction regarding the love and care owed to our parents.

“My son, take care of your father when he is old;

grieve him not as long as he lives.

Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him;

revile him not all the days of his life;

kindness to a father will not be forgotten,

firmly planted against the debt of your sins

—a house raised in justice to you.” Sirach 3:12-14

The second reading from Colossians gives yet more instruction. 

“Brothers and sisters:

Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,

bearing with one another and forgiving one another,

if one has a grievance against another;

as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.

And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.

And let the peace of Christ control your hearts,

the peace into which you were also called in one body. And Be Thankful.”

Colossians 3:12-15

The reading continues, showing clearly that each member of the family has a role to play.

“Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.”

Colossians 3:18-21

The role we’re each called to is love – wives to husbands, husbands to wives, children to parents, parents to kids. Each role points towards love, that bond of perfection.

And finally, the Gospel today comes from the Gospel of Luke, where we hear the story of the Presentation in the Temple. We see that even this Holy Family did what all families are called to do – to consecrate themselves to the Lord. They didn’t get a pass because Jesus was God himself. No, The Holy Family demonstrates this act of consecration for us, so that we may follow their example.

In the verses immediately following the Presentation in the temple, Luke tells us of the finding of the boy Jesus in the temple. You know, the part of the story when Jesus’ parents didn’t know where he was for 3 days! Talk about scripture highlighting a real-life family. If that doesn’t make you feel better about your parenting, I’m not sure what will!

It’s no mistake that Jesus came to be part of a family. The Scriptures are clear. Family is important

They teach us that:

1. Mothers and Fathers should be held in high regard. They should be obeyed, and cared for, they should be treated with kindness and respect, from our youth into their old age.
2. All members of the family must love. The wife must honor her husband and be a helper to him. The husband must love his wife, ready to lay down his life for her. Children must obey and parents must not provoke. Because we’re called to “put on love” the “bond of perfection.”
3. Families should follow the example of The Holy Family and dedicate themselves to the Lord.
4. We should strive for love over perfection in our families. When things do go awry, God calls His children to Himself. If they learn to hear His voice, we will find them in their Father’s house. 

I came across an old journal yesterday. A journal I shared with my mom. As I was navigating my angsty middle school years, this journal was one of the many gentle ways Mom sought to guide me and parent me. The idea was that we could write back and forth to each other, completely in confidence and without the heightened emotions that came during an argument. I will say, it worked pretty well, and it has given me the gift of having her wisdom at my fingertips even though I don’t have her with me anymore. For that I am grateful.

I will leave you with some of her words. Words that took my breath away as I flipped through the pages.

“… but it is my responsibility as a parent to make sure that you not only know right from wrong, but also the nuances of right and wrong. I am responsible for your immortal soul – a pretty awesome responsibility if you ask me! So, you see, if you fall away from the Lord because of something I neglected to teach you, well, then it is my sin. Believe me, when you are a mom, you will understand that the easier way is to say nothing, but your responsibility as a Christian mother is to raise your children to give honor and glory to God”

She’s right, I do understand now. What a beautiful reminder of my vocation in motherhood, a poignant recollection of the legacy she left. 

On this feast of the Holy Family, embrace the family God put you in – with all its joys, all its sorrows and all its difficulties, because life in a family is sanctifying. May you find purpose in your vocation to guide your family towards the heavenly Kingdom.